THE HOLISTIC CONVERSATION with Tisha Morris
In a time when the latest buzzword is minimalism, you might find it unusual for me to offer the question, “Are you taking up enough space?”
The idea of claiming space has been a hot topic for me recently upon moving in with my partner. As the movers were loading the truck, I saw my space quickly shrinking. My mind began to spin. Will there be space for me? In the truck? In the relationship? In my life?
In client situations, I often see this with home offices being downgraded to the basement or mothers whose only place of refuge is their closet or, worse yet, in their car. All of their energy is given to others with their tank completely empty for themselves and their home space reflecting it.
Feng Shui is built on the concept of living in harmony with the Earth’s energy. This also means living in harmony with yourself and your loved ones. Oftentimes we go too far and sacrifice our space for others or, in other words, give our power away. Other times, we may give our power away to too much stuff.
I’m a natural minimalist and don’t like excess. Objects without form and function are like junk food to me – they temporarily fill you up but you feel unfulfilled later. But I’ve recently been forced to step into new shoes and take up 3.5 acres of space unlike ever before – in myself, in my relationship, in my home, and with the land.
I’ve had to claim my space with pigeons that poop on the porch, the sun that spills through the pergola, the cat that prefers my side of the bed, and counter space with my partner. I’m learning that claiming my space is pertinent for sustainability and personal expansion in all these areas.
For anyone wanting to make a mark in the world, you must take up your own space, i.e. your own energy, and take harmonious sovereignty over your home space before you can do it anywhere else in the world.
Where you don’t take up your own space, or energy, you will look for energy outside yourself to siphon, similar to storing your junk in someone else’s garage or basement. If you’re not taking up your energy, you will be on the unconscious hunt for a replacement in someone or something else.
If you’re not taking up your own energy, someone or something else will take up yours too. This will show up in the mind, body, or home in the form of codependent relationships, candida infection, or bug infestations, just to name a few.
Here are some tips on how to take up more space within yourself and in the world:
We often don’t take our rightful space in the world because we simply don’t think we’re worthy of it. We end becoming the Incredible Shrinking Woman, or even making ourselves invisible, all while putting others on a pedestal. Our income and sense of purpose shrinks proportionately.
Know that you add value to the world and those close to you just by being you. Any hints of self-doubt and criticism in your vibration are evidence that you’re not valuing yourself. Also, looking for validation outside yourself is an immediate energy leak. Own your value and you will own your rightful place in the world.
Self-care and self-love are synonymous. You can’t have one without the other. We all have different meanings for what self-care is. For some, it’s pampering with massages and pedicures, for others it’s time alone. Know what your needs are so that you can take care of them instead of looking to others to fill what you don’t even know needs to be filled.
ASSERT YOUR NEEDS
Let those close to you know what your needs are – not with the expectation that they meet them for you – but for the purpose that they can be known and heard. How they get met will most likely fall upon you, but in making them known, they will more likely get met.
ASK FOR HELP
Instead of taking others’ energy in passive, possibly manipulative, ways, simply ask for help. The consented combined energy of two or more people can move mountains.
BE AWARE OF ADDICTIVE BEHAVIORS
Addictions are covert ways of filling our emptiness with junk food. For some, it may be actual junk food. Or, it could be drugs, alcohol, shopping, obsessive thinking, or anything else that turns life force energy into toxic fillers. Healing addictive tendencies is not an overnight process, but becoming aware of what they are attempting to fill will go a long way.
CUT THE CLUTTER
Clutter is empty calories. They fill space with no nutritional value. It takes up valuable space that could otherwise be used for positive contributions to your home, your life, and the world.
Where can you take up more space (nutrients) in your life?
Where do you need to take up less space (fillers)?
Tisha Morris is the best-selling author of Decorating With the Five Elements of Feng Shui (Llewellyn 2015), Mind Body Home: Transform Your Life One Room at a Time (Llewellyn 2012), Feng Shui Your Life: The Quick Guide to DeclutteringYour Home and Renewing Your Life (Turner Publishing 2010). Tisha is based in Los Angeles where she works with homes and business and facilitates trainings. To learn more, visit Earth Home with Tisha Morris.