Single people on the quest for love often ask us, “What can I do to manifest a relationship?” Perhaps you are one of those people. If so, you have probably tried everything from online dating to working with a relationship coach. While those types of activities are important, on the journey to love, it’s often your emotional and spiritual growth that makes the most difference. Love meets you where you are. That’s why it’s important to keep an open heart and maintain a willing attitude.
We know! In our individual client practices, we each work with thousands of individuals like you every year. Love and relationships happen to be two of the topics for which people most seek our guidance and support. I, Maryann, am a Soul Reader and Reiki Master Teacher, and I, Rachel, am an Intuitive Astrologer and Healer. We have teamed up to share with you some guidance we have offered to help our clients manifest healthy, happy, and long-lasting relationships.
It starts with desire. You probably feel this right now, that strong yearning growing from the core of you. That want extends beyond the ego’s drive. The urge to be in partnership often begins with the soul’s desire to fulfill its sacred contract with another person. Sometimes, you can feel it more palpably than others. The soul craves experiences of expansion, and at times, that happens best through an intimate relationship. So, if you are single and feeling that deep desire, trust that it’s coming from your soul and that it will happen.
“Love meets you where you are.”
Desire inspires us to grow and stretch ourselves beyond our comfort zones. The stronger you feel it, the more willingly you move through your fears, open your heart, and embrace the possibility of change. That is why we can feel a sense of urgency right before meeting a romantic partner. Emotions escalate to push us toward a breakthrough.
We believe anyone who has that strong desire truly can call in the one. However, we have identified important steps to take toward the fulfillment of that desire. Here are five things you can do today to manifest love.
Open your heart.
To open our heart, we simply need to step into our heart. This pathway is accessed by consciously asking ourselves what we are feeling or sensing. So, ask yourself right now: “What am I feeling/sensing?” Each of these questions is a direct pathway into the heart. This is important because the heart is the “digestion” center for feelings. If you’re wanting to know what you’re feeling/sensing and you sit in this question consciously, your heart will begin to send you messages of the feelings you are in. Sadly, when our heart has information to share with us that has to do with feeling sad, angry, disappointed, abandoned, or any of the so-called negative feelings, we work really hard to ignore these feelings. This is the reason we abandon ourselves (and our feelings) in the first place.
As a child, these feelings were too painful to sit in. Now, here we are as an adult struggling in our intimate relationships wondering why love hasn’t come or worked out when we’re still “managed” by a child messaging system below our conscious awareness. The child part of ourselves is in no way interested in feeling because it was too painful to feel wrong or bad for expressing our feelings then.
Well, do it anyway! Go into those feelings and be present in your heart so you will begin to feel. Digest those feelings to a point of epiphany of amazement and freedom knowing what you are feeling finally.
Feelings open your heart. Joy, wonder, gratitude, excitement, and enthusiasm as well as sadness, anger, or hurt. The more you feel, the more you ready yourself to experience all facets of love. To center yourself in this practice, you might try to place a hand over your heart to draw focus to that center of your body while asking yourself the question: What am I feeling/sensing?
Imagine making all of your choices and decisions based on knowing what actually matters to you. This is the information the heart has.
Get out of your own way.
We hear from clients who set all sorts of conditions for where, when, and how they will meet their partners. For example: “I want it to happen naturally, organically. I don’t want to meet someone online.” “He/She has to live where I live. I won’t do long distance.” “I want it to happen now!”
Then, there are conditions people place on their future partners. Like: “I want him to be taller than me. That’s important.” “I prefer someone younger.” “I want a partner who is successful.”
While it’s important to establish what you prefer, many of these conditions come from a me-centered place. While this is absolutely fine, when we’re talking about relationships, it’s always about we instead of me. Instead, to all of your conditions, say, “This or better.” Keep yourself open to miraculous possibilities.
Conditions could also be limiting factors to manifesting love. What if a fear of being involved in a relationship is actually driving your resistance to trying online dating? What if somewhere in your intuition you know you’re supposed to meet your person that way and your resistance is your fear’s attempt to block it from happening? These are possibilities, and while you may genuinely sense you’re going to meet your person in everyday life, check in with yourself first to make sure that’s not the voice of fear.
When you open your heart and mind to possibilities beyond your imagination, you can unearth fears hidden in your subconscious mind. These fears are overwhelming to a child, which is why we abandoned access to our feelings of fear as a child in the first place. That child is still present running all your engines with those all too familiar messages of fears. “Oh, no …run!” or “Oh, no …hide!” Or whatever your pattern of abandonment is. Your child doesn’t want to feel, and so it will send you messages of sabotage just to stay in a child’s experience of safe.
When you are ready to feel those fears which actually are there (yes, right inside of you), then you will begin to nurture the child inside of you by reminding yourself that all you really know is love. You know you are a loving soul.
Begin by sending yourself all the loving messages you can find. Like, “I get it kiddo, this is a very scary moment, and I’m staying present as the adult loving me, therefore you.” Or simply, “All I know is I love me and you too, kiddo.”
When you recognize fear, you can see how it keeps you guarded. Fear can prevent us from connecting with one another because we develop defense mechanisms to give us a false sense of safety. For example, you might feel anxiety in the beginning stages of a relationship, wondering whether or not someone will call you back. Or you might criticize or judge potential partners, especially if they come on too strong or express great interest. These can be ways in which fear manifests itself. Identify the telltale signs, and you can learn to take deep breaths and relax your body. This can help you release fear’s grip.
When you do, then you begin the process of letting down your guard. At first, you may feel vulnerable, especially when you like someone but aren’t quite sure whether or not they share the feeling. Good! We want you to feel unguarded, giddy, and open. Every great love story starts with a moment of vulnerability, that chance encounter during which two people say yes to the possibility of love.
Now, being unguarded does not mean abandon all healthy boundaries, tell someone all about your past secrets, or heavily emote on the first date. Nor does it mean you allow someone to walk all over you. Quite the contrary! Being unguarded means you understand the risks and potential before fully committing to the relationship, which can only happen when you ease in, building trust along the way. Open gradually, and trust your intuition. Taking risks starts with discernment. You will know you’re ready when sharing aspects of yourself feels more like relief than stress.
Taking risks requires courage and strength of character. It means you have the confidence to be yourself, and no matter what happens with the relationship, you will celebrate your willingness to say yes to life and to the possibility of love.
Love yourself. Nurture yourself.
Remind yourself that all you really know is:
You’re a lovable, precious person.
Keep speaking this language, which is the language of the heart. Eventually, you will feel lovable. When you feel loveable, you can attract more experiences of love into your life to validate the feeling you’re sending out into the universe. Be love. Feel loveable.
Truly, change the language from fear-based struggles of doubts and disappointments to the actual language your heart knows, which is abundance of feeling lovable. Then, you will change your experiences of love.
Loving and nurturing yourself also means saying no to relationships that drain your spark or past loves who aren’t serving your best and highest good. It means protecting your energy so you can be truly available when a healthy potential partner finds his or her way to you. Is it really nurturing to fall back into the arms of the person who doesn’t value your relationship enough to commit? Does it make you feel loveable to wait for someone who’s unavailable with no plans of leaving another relationship? If the answer to these questions is no, love yourself enough to prioritize your heart. Value yourself enough to be willing to walk away from Mr. or Ms. Just Good Enough. Aloneness can be better for your self-worth than loneliness in a relationship.
You will evolve into becoming a better partner by being kind, compassionate, and good to yourself during your single days. You will also have more of your whole self to offer.
Walk the path of belief.
This is important. If you have been single for some time, you may have become discouraged. You could even fear you will never have a loving partnership. This kind of thinking can leave you feeling powerless over your life. Instead, look in the mirror and tell yourself:
“Self, you are love. Therefore, being in love is a non-negotiable. You will attract a partner into your life. Period.”
Own it, and if you doubt the possibility, repeat that as your mantra.
Maryann Russell’s journey from her many years of emergency nursing to alternative healing has included Massage Therapy and Reflexology education at the Polarity Realization Center in Portland, Maine and advanced training in CranioSacral Therapy at the Upledger Institute of Palm Beach Gardens, Florida. She is also a Reiki Master/Teacher and enjoyed teaching the Doctors, Nurses and Volunteers of Southern Maine Hospice Center Reiki Level l. Her greatest gifts as an Intuitive were re-awakened through her studies of Intuition Therapy and Soul Readings with renowned healer and author, Rosalie Deer Heart. Rosalie’s support and nurturance brought Maryann to an experience of awakening peacefully to her gifts, which she now enjoys sharing worldwide in her very busy practice. Visit her website for additional information.
Rachel Lang is a professionally certified astrologer and healer who works with individuals, small businesses, and corporations. An internationally recognized speaker, she also hosts workshops and offers classes, retreats and meditation groups. Rachel loves helping people identify and heal challenges or roadblocks in life. She supports them in decision-making processes by mapping astrological trends and forecasts to offer a glimpse of what’s ahead. Her favorite part of her job is writing horoscopes and articles for LVBX Magazine. You can find out more or schedule a session online at http://rachelclang.com.